It's all happenin' @ greylias.com now...

This is where Greylias Worship started, but now you can find it here.

http://greylias.com

Later!
Terry

check out greylias.com

greylias worship has moved....you can find it here

Check out greylias.com

with suffering

i have realized lately that there's not a lot of suffering in my life. i say i want to be compassionate, but i'm lacking an element of suffering. com (with) passion (suffering). just the whole idea of saying i'm passionate about God, and yet lack any type of real suffering in my life makes me wonder if i'm in quite the right spot. i'm open right now to entering into some real un-safe situation, and even taking on some elements of suffering. i'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. Libby would certainly say that this is not a good thing...right???

Philippians 3:8-11 (TNIV)

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Philippians 3:7-11 (The Message)

7-9The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I'm tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God's righteousness.

10-11I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it.

the tragic glorifying life

is the less tragic life less glorifying? (that question is doomed, but it is making a point for me)

i've seen a couple of friends go through some deep dark times recently, and it's at those times that God has certainly been most glorified in their lives - and in a very public positive way. death and tragedy certainly thrust faithful people into this deep realm of the spirit. i'm not envious of the tragedy, but i am a little spellbound on what it's like to be that deep in the spirit.

so now i'm wondering if the less tragic life is less glorifying? i will say that when things are going well it can be easy to gloss over the spiritual side of life - and miss God altogether on some days. i've recently been trying really hard (hopefully in the Spirit) to glorify God in the less tragic life. my tragedy is right around the corner, and maybe when that day comes i'll have more of a public voice of faith for God. but i'm trying really hard (hopefully in the Spirit) not to miss glorifying God in the every day.

Praying for Silas this past Sunday @ the alter was such a rich time for me, I prayed that I would not hold back my love from him, and that I would not hold him back from God. It was one of those times when I felt the deep weight of being a parent, but realized how little is in my control. I pray for my kids every day, praying that tragedy will not come our way. But if it does I know it will be to Christ's glory. Life is too short for some, like Elizabeth and maybe Charity - but God can do so much through what little time we have here. So I need to be more about God's kingdom with the time I do have.

I love you Silas, Eden, Elias & Libby

f e a r

what has fear kept you from doing that God is calling you to do?

Silas Cole

Silas Cole Foester

Silas is finally here! We waited, but it was worth it. He's really cute, and his big bro and big sis are already making up nick names for him.

Silas Cole was born April 29, 2007 @ 1:37 AM. He came so quick that his mama almost didn't have time to get her epidural - but all is good now.

He weighted 7 lbs even, and was a lengthy 22 inches. He likes to chill and sleep.

some softness, a little bit of hair & a chord

Eli said something funny yesterday...

He was fascinated with these white pipecleaners and was inspecting one very closely...

Then he said: "Mom I know how they make these... some softness, a little bit of hair & a cord!"

It was so cute. I was cracking up.

hope for the hokies passion ep

The passion guys have put together a free "Hope for the Hokies" Passion EP. Totally free for download with no strings attached - meant for the hurting college communities. One of my favorite songs (that I even try to sing when I'm alone sometimes) is on the EP ---- The Charlie Hall song - Come for Me.

"the tendency in the current climate of life is to act as if we care, but to really not pray"- Louie Giglio

...so if we really care - we pray.

eli can sing

eli's almost 5 and he's got pretty good taste in music...

his three favorite tunes to sing are:

1. I Saw The Light (from A Collision)
by David Crowder Band

2. Let the Name of God Be High (from Please Don't Make Us Sing These Songs)
by Derek Webb









3. You're Beautiful (from Back to Bedlam)
by James Blunt

(he sings this one to his mama, but we have to mute the song for a second during the second verse)

brown puma's (eli's got red ones to match)

live who you are. God has entrusted me with something, something that he is really about - and it's something that i need to be about. there's room for everyone in God's plan, and i don't want to miss any of what He has for me. even King David missed out on a little more that God had for him (2 Samuel).

God what are you into? And what do you want me to be into that you are already into? I'm still wrestling with this question.

i'm still in this six month window, a season of change of sorts. i feel that God is calling me out to something that He is really for. Like the lost and destitute. i'm not sure i'm all about the lost and the destitute. sometimes i feel i am, but a lot of the time i'm all about having green grass in my back yard. and comfortable shoes, that are still very cool. and some nice things that surround me. but God is moving me (literally?/vocationally?heart-fully?) to something new. i want to love God with all i am, i want to be vulnerable to God.

God is doing some great things in my heart right now, giving me more compassion for people that i have not loved in the past. i'm still wrestling with what i want that to look like, and trying to shake that from God, praying and hoping and believing that it will become clear.

i want to let go of fear, be able to take a risk, not worry about my shoes or how green my grass is, and find my real joy in the Lord.

call me out - i'm open right now - i believe you will lead me straight(ish)

death still does not win - even in blacksburg

sub-heading: the question mark kid

yeah, i don't know what to think of the virginia tech shooting...except that for some, things will never be the same - and yet for me personally they are the same. the thing about death is that it stings - and penetrates certain circles or spheres of life...this event is having a huge sphere...everyone's writing and thinking about it....but for me everything is the still the same...i'm not sure what to think about this....but i'm still going through a regular day like any other.

on april 11th i wrote that death does not win...and on april 16th death still does not win...but that's easy for me to say...the words of David Crowder come to mind...from his song Oh the Glory of it All (if you have not heard this song, go to i-tunes and download it right now bro - you can't go wrong)

at the start -- he was there -- he was there
in the end -- he'll be there -- he'll be there
after all our hands have wronged -- he forgives

oh the glory of it all -- is that he came in -- for the rescue of us all -- that we may live
oh the glory of it all -- oh the glory of it all

all is lost -- find him there -- find him there
after night -- dawn is there -- dawn is there
after all falls apart -- he repairs -- he repairs

oh the glory of it all -- is that he came in -- for the rescue of us all -- that we may live
oh the glory of it all -- oh the glory of it all

after night -- comes alive -- dawn is here -- it's a new day -- everything will change -- things will never be the same -- we will never be the same -- we will never be the same

i read that cho was referred to as a loner and was known as "the question mark kid" to some...what would drive someone to do this besides the devil himself...i guess satan was his only friend...

lester feels like a last name and cho feels like a question mark...how can some be so lost when "the found" are so close (in proximity at least) - that's what I need to think about...

death does not win

The day after I watched David bury his wife, I led worship @ HBC...the whole weekend was a reminder of how great God is, and that he is very much alive in his people. I picked the worship set the Sunday before Elizabeth's death, which turned out to be an amazing time of worship for me. This is something I said before the You Are My God/Good to Me/How Great Is Our God/Heart of Worship stream of songs...

That was meant to wake us up a little bit (referring to Trading My Sorrows/Ancient of Days)...I want to say thanks to Pastor Rick for jumping in on drums this morning on short notice...so thank you

I want to give the context of how I'm worshiping this morning as we go into these next 4 songs...to me worship is a response to God. Singing is just one small aspect of worshiping God...you know all the people that are over there with our kids (pointing down the hall) are doing the greater act of worship right now, and I think we all know that. So there's my plug for getting involved with the child ministry if you want to do that...you know, when we respond to God it's a lot about the "here and now" of responding... but it's also a reflection of where we've been maybe this last week or even before that...I watched a friend bury his 27 year old wife yesterday, so as we sing these songs - you know death has been pretty real to me and to I know some of you out there this week (I was referring to the Attia's in my mind because Magdy's dad had died - I remember catching Caroline's eyes @ that point)...death comes kind of close sometimes, and becomes really tangible at some points in our lives...I saw my friend say that God is good and I know that he said that not only with his words but also with his actions, and it was a real reminder to me that God is Good in all things....so even though death is real...the greatness of God is that death does not win!...Paul said it this way....the Apostle Paul

I declare to you brothers that flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. Nor does....death has been swallowed up in victory...

The highlights for me....when we repeated the chorus to You Are My God - we had some neat harmonies going on and it was so easy to sing "You Are My God - early in the morning - will I rise to meet you" - in light of Elizabeth's death....then @ the end of "Good to Me" we hung on the words "Good to Me" - I added an extra measure to the three chords that loop and we sang Good to me at half the tempo...we just hung on it for awhile....Good to Me

lester - a good last name

I had a good chat with Lester today. He is a homeless guy I ran into along the river. We sat & chatted, and went a little deeper than the weather. It was more for me than him for sure, but it was good to connect with someone new. I did ask him if he had any big plans ahead of him, and he said that Easter is a hard time. He said the libraries are closed - and that he spends a lot of time in libraries. He said he might go to the farmers market but he's not sure yet.

I could so end up like Lester - seriously...with nothing but a Green Bay Packers duffle bag full of clothes, a long beard (which was very impressive), some scares, and a quiet disposition.

Some of these praise lyrics are getting in the way of me knowing what it means to follow God. They say these awesome things like "the time has come to stand for all we believe in, today - today we live for one thing, and all the praise goes out to you". That's fine and true, but when you're sitting with a homeless dude a stones through from where you work - it's hard to understand - then you decide to skip lunch for some reason, and you know it's impossibly strange that you can even talk to God - but you are still hungry, have to go back to work, but still have time to check how your boys are doing in your master's pool...life is so strange some times.

But he is so the light of the world, even to the fatherless and the childless. Lester never had any kids.

Then last night was equally as strange taking LaShawn and Chase to the passion play. A muslim guy & girl that are so far removed from my real life...but they became part of my real life for a night - we listened to some rap music on the way home...and I learned that cell phones are really important to the younger crowd...but I was still tired, and maybe not as friendly as I could've been - but I hate to force things.

Today with Lester was so not forced which made it really cool for me (it was so for me anyway) - there was this strange progression that led me to Lester's park bench...it began by walking by him and not really noticing...then some strange thoughts brought me back, like a Robin that kept looking @ me strangely, turned me around, confused me, then led me back a bit - then an old historical picture of a bridge that gave me a place to start.

Either way, God has put this marvelous light right in front of us, to chase after. And it's in the simple moments and in the everyday when he really shows up, but it's still easy to miss him then.

Looking ahead, and one thought that came to my mind last night is that the weight of Glory is the cross - literally - then I heard something this morning that the word for Glory in the old testiment has this idea of heaviness...so when we ask God to show us His Glory, in a way we're asking him to show us the weight of the cross.

Anyway, I'm not making any more sense to myself so I just need to go "run" some profiles in Geopak. Cut the tin file, look @ the triangulation and then check the contours...I'll try to set the neighborhood street profiles - Parcel F, part of the GlenEagles subdivions in the St. Charles Development- I guess that will have some impact on people later - I remember playing ball in my street and the tennis balls always getting stuck in the catch basins...

oh well - I guess it's all for His Glory, His Weight, His Heaviness, His Burden, His Cross

Lester is his last name, but he goes by his last name. Maybe he just feels like a last name now...he stays @ St. Anne's...

3 | eden | 3 | eden | 3

so my little girl turned 3! she's growing so quickly...she can run so quick now...she's so beautiful

you are my hope - your promise never fails me

our friend elizabeth passed away last night...her husband said it was right that she would pass away on the first day of spring - he reminded us that she was ushered into glory...

i'm reminded even more today that God wants me to follow him, he's asking me to set my net out...i need to trust him, and not focus on the cost...

when we picked the worship songs for this week's set @ HBC we didn't know that Elizabeth would pass the same week - but after practicing Monday night, the first thoughts that came to my mind after hearing of her death Wednesday morning were the lyrics from Good to Me - they came right to my mind...we'll start the set by singing "Trading my Sorrows" - it'll be great to sing that we can trade our sickness and that God is good...and then sing "Good to Me" and How Great is Our God" - and then close things by singing "The Heart of Worship" - this set is so appropriate in light of Elizabeth's death...her two year old and six month old boy's can't sing these praises yet - but I hope some day they truly can...

You Are my Hope! Your promise never fails me! And my desire is to follow you forever...for you are good, for you are good, for your are good to me - yes you are good...

Ctrl-Alt-Del

it's amazing how something seemingly insignificant can take on so much meaning - the whole idea of Ctrl-Alt-Del is strange - it becomes this solution of sorts to deal with a locked up computer...the button's themselves are pretty meaningless, seldomly used - but they join together to have this strange meaning...

courage & fear - take a risk tk

courage to take a risk - set aside your fears bro

what vision has God given me? i need the courage to take a risk...
what needs to be done? what needs to change? what needs to move forward?

then....how do i initiate? how do i launch into the unknown?

is God calling HBC to be a multi-campus environment? let's create an environment to capture those that are being missed.

God - what mission are you calling me to? I can sense in the depths of who I am that you are calling me out to lay things down...I'm struggling to know what that could or might or should look like...give me the courage to figure it out. I don't want to back down on this, because it's getting easier and easier to back down, the further I get into this...

sometimes I struggle with inadequacy - can God really use me?
sometimes I struggle with apathy - do I really love people? (besides my little circle)
sometimes I struggle with confusion/purpose - where is God really calling me? and to who?
sometimes I struggle with the practicality of this whole thing - what about money/benefits and my family?
sometimes I struggle about what other people will think - this goes way back to H.S....
sometimes I struggle with the value of what i'm being called to do - Am I taking the easy way out?
sometimes I fear that God will leave me where I am - Am I just looking for an easy way out?
sometimes I fear that God isn't really calling me to something great - Does he really want to use me?
sometimes I fear that I missed my chance - Did I not take a risk I already should have? Is it too late for me?
sometimes I fear that I won't figure it out - How will I really know what God is calling me to do?
sometimes I fear about my kids and my wife - what will happen to them in all this?

God - give me the courage to set aside my fears - to trust you - to be patient - to not make a dumb decision to go after something I shouldn't - to see you - to know you - to follow you - and to lead others to you...I trust you God

Alvarez MD90-C

This is my new Alvarez MD90-C - solid Englemann Spruce top will solid Indian Rosewood back and sides. I'm enjoying it so far.

Body Style	Cutaway Dreadnought
Back/Sides	Solid Indian Rosewood
Top	Solid Englemann Spruce
Fingerboard	Rosewood
Fingerboard Inlay	12 F Diagonal
Body Binding	Maple
Soundhole Rosette	Abalone
Tuning Machines	Nickel Die Cast
Finish	Natural
Electronics	System 600T Mk II

what i've learned about leading worship as a volunteer

Leading worship well (and for free) – the art and technique behind leading worship within a volunteer/lay worship ministry model

Spiritual aspects:

• Don’t be afraid to take an uncomfortable step of leadership – I’ll share a little of my story and share about the example of Moses – He wasn’t even that willing really, God Himself taught him on the job.
• Be authentic - bring in aspects from your real life – I often share stories from my family and friends and about how God is teaching me – (Reference some personal stories in the article. Use Eli’s story about how God sings over us.)

Artistic Aspects:

• Accept that God has placed you in an important role of ministry and be confident that he will give you a voice – and something significant to say to his local people. (i.e. don’t downplay the fact that you’re “just a volunteer”)
• Don’t just use other famous worshipers’ ideas – listen to God and ask Him how to lead his local people to Him, through you – be a true servant. Write your own song, or do a song in a new way.
• Be willing to put the effort into preparing, but come to the worship time prepared to follow the Spirit – and let go of things a bit. Those most prepared to worship are the most able to follow the Spirit (This is a Louie Giglio point)
• Don’t use your “volunteer” status as an excuse not to prepare.

Logistical Aspects:

• Think specifically about what you will say between songs, and how you will help lead people into God’s presence.
• Get lots of people involved.
• Have high expectations for the entire ministry (even though it’s a bunch of engineers/lawyers/scientists making some noise for God)
• Ask people to commit.
• Bring people along in their own journey of leading others in worship – help them take small steps of leadership along the way
• Practice as a band for three hours for every ½ hour of worship time
• Be clear to the worshipers about how the team and ministry works – so everyone has realistic expectations
• Search for that hidden talent within the church – young and old
• Don’t decide/judge how God might use or not use someone – I’ve been wrong on this too many times
• Work with church staff to connect all aspects of any given worship service together

daddy, i'm scarred

usually when eli runs to my bed in the middle of the night his first words are - daddy, i'm scarred

i thought this would be a great children's book idea...here are some quick thoughts:

• me back and forth with Eli from my bed to his
• The defender of our faith
• Use Everlasting God ideas in book
• Have car bed in story
• Do summer Sault when I put him back in bed
• Pray with him.
• Not sure about animation, or if characters will be people or animals…

The Marks of True Worship - Louie Giglio - Thirsty 06 Talk

How do you know if your church is a worshiping church?

Worship is what it’s all about, it’s all about God, but we make much of him when we worship.

If anything you want to be known as a worshiping church!

Some say - We want to be a missional church – missions isn’t the beginning or ending of anything, missions starts and ends with worship, missions is in the middle

Evangelism/Giving/teaching/discipline/innovative/whatever kind of church

What you really want to say is that we want to be a worshiping church, because that encompasses all the things we want to be about (like above list) when we ARE a worshiping church.

Two Baselines:

1. You are a worshiper! Everyone is a great worshiper (of something)

Worship is about giving glory (setting our affection) to what we value most.

Worship is a human activity, not a Christian thing (Romans 1 – exchanged truth of God for a lie…and they worshiped and served the creature instead of the creator…) worship went right on happening w/out God.

We are good at giving glory to STUFF, humanity is good at it.

The question – are you a TRUE worshiper?

Louie’s Definition of worship

“Worship is a full life response to the greatness and the grace of God”

Marks of True Worship (Romans 12:1-2)

1. Is God happy? - A preoccupation for God’s happiness
1. At the end of the day – worship for God (pleasing to God) in Romans 12:2
2. God decides if the worship is acceptable or not
2. Is there an aroma? – An acceptable offering of worship that is pleasing to God
1. Jesus offered himself as a fragrant aroma, an acceptable offering
2. This is our spiritual act of worship
3. Are we more concerned if they like it or if we like it, instead of wondering if it was a sweet sweet sound in his ear
4. Here’s the question – God, did you like it?
5. We don’t ask, ‘cause we’re afraid of the answer
6. Sometimes we need to stop singing, put our hands down and repent
3. Has it reached the least of these? – The mark of demonstration
1. Is worship still a meal for you?
2. Or is it fuel for missions?

It is trickling down to the least of these?

4. Are people alive? – Are people being turned upside down.
1. They’re seeing in color, not B&W
2. Are they talking about Jesus

For the worship programmers:

How prevalent is the work of the Spirit in you and in the planning of worship?

Distance worship from worship programming…you cannot program worship

You can program a worship service…

New Questions (the people sitting around deciding the logistics – what song’s are we going to sing)

1. Where are our ideas coming from?
1. Are we looking over there to those people,
2. Or are we looking up there to the face of God?
2. What do you want people to change? (As opposed to what do you want people to feel or experience – we need to worry less about vibe and feel)
3. What internally has to happen for that change to take place? (As opposed to what just has to happen externally for the program to work)
1. This could mean – we don’t need any music tonight
4. How prevalent is the work of the Holy Spirit in You and in the body dynamic?
1. In other words, is the question being surface a lot – where is the Holy Spirit? When he is moving and active – stuff happens

John Piper - session 4 @ Passion 07

Dealing w/the guilt of failure in the sexual life

Satan’s lie – because we fail sexually, we should settle for middle class mediocrity – dropping coin’s from our SUV’s, because we’re not worthy of God’s high calling

Words to use the morning after the failure

Substitutionary Atonement – whose hands did the nails go through, not yours – his…who’s warrant was on him, not his – but yours…

Col 2:14

Rom 8:3 – what the law could not do, God did.

Micah 7:8 – rejoice not over me o my enemy, when I fall… “trusting Christ to the hilt with gutsy guilt”

Col 2:15 – God disarmed the rulers…

The Bible wasn’t written to be misunderstood

Satan will not be able to destroy your dream

Louie Giglio - Passion 07 session 5

In the end, we need to be able to say “I had a part in making my savior famous to all the peoples of the world”

Lord, we know you don’t need us, but we want to be part of the story

God says - "Everything is about the party, and the party lasts forever – and it’s all about the party"

The only thing happening on this earth is God redeeming the nations, calling all peoples, throwing a party exalting the name of Jesus

If we pour our lives into anything else, it's going to be different when we walk into the party....

Don’t waste your life on something less than this….be in it, because it is….I want to be a mission minded going person all the days of my life…I want to be a part of God’s story going to every person on the planet…so they hear the name of Jesus

You can get into the story no matter…it's easy to say "I don’t know if I can be part of God’s story because I don’t know!" - so what!

Can I get some of that, can you use me in that story I’m in? I don’t need to know what, or when or how, I just need to know if you will go w/me Jesus?

Francis Chan - session 3 @ Passion 07

o you really want to know the will of God?

I’m concerned – do you really love God? (not do you serve enough or sing loud enough)

wreck our lives - passion 07 session 1 - Louie Giglio

Louie Giglio - “Wreck our lives and put us in the stream of what God is doing”

“Lean forward into what God has for us”

worship in spirit & truth

Worship and spirit and truth… notes from a Chris Tomlin Thirsty '06 talk

Part 1 - Worship in spirit...

Focused on Jesus (John 16 – Holy spirit brings glory to Jesus)

Worship is unpredictable (You don’t know what the spirit is going to do in others lives – the Spirit is unpredictable)…It’s not about me, and we have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives.

God is orderly, so this is not permission to do whatever we want to do, but God’s ways are higher than ours…

The people (leaders) that are most prepared to worship are the ones that are most lead by the Spirit of God….when you have prepared you heart, you are lead by God

Proverbs 20:27 (KJV) The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly.

Part 2 - Worship in Truth….

Are we singing Truth? (content)

Wonderful Maker…

No eye has fully (was truly) seen how beautiful the cross and we have only heard the faintest whispers of who you are….truly is a derivative of the word truth, and that is not right and we have seen the truth of the cross, because we have been saved…you have not seen it fully, you’ve only seen in part now, one day you’ll see in full

The Adventure of Worship (Garrett Gustafson)

Worship in truth quote “External expression (lifting hands) without internal reality is unacceptable worship to God”

Jesus said “They praise me with my lips, but their hearts are far from me – their worship is in vain” (Mark 7 or 2)

Practical tips:

Community event (revelation, worship around the throne – thousands upon thousands – day and night they never stop singing)

Psalm 22:3 – God is enthroned upon the praises of Israel (God inhabits the praises of his people)

Hebrews 10 – let us not give up meeting together (why we do what we do)

Leading is a continual process of reminding those who follow of where we’re going…

Just stop and explain why do we do what we do…why do we stand in silence? Why do we clap? Why do we bow down? Why do we lift up holy hands?

This was not made up by man – this is biblical worship to God.

Key aspects to worship:

1. Humility….the favor of God comes in humility

“Humility comes from seeing God” God will raise you up from humility! “Those who are exalted will be humbled, and those who are humbled will be exalted”

2. The gift of Leadership (from the holy spirit) – You will never lead the masses unless you can lead the people closest to you
3. Discernment – ability to be sensitive to what God is doing in people’s hearts
4. Excellence (David was known as a skillful excellent musician – 1 Sam 16.)
5. To love your audience (an effective leader loves the people he’s leading) – love your neighbor as yourself

go after the work of the kingdom

one of my best friends encouraged me to go after the work of the kingdom....i'm waiting to see what God has for me...

louie's take on passion

Passion - going with the wind (setting up their sail) - trying not to row on their own...
This is a Louie Giglio quote from Episode 9 of the Catalyst podcast - August 10, 2006

life springs from the heart and if you don't have life you're not going to lead too many people too far

(college kids) they don't really gravitate towards enterprise in this moment - in fact they hate it...that's a lot of the whole emergent conversation is ya know people are anit-industry and they are for grass rootsy authentic what's real what's true community what's true motive - the don't have a lot of time for - "that looks like an enterprise - a man made concocted thing"

so for us we don't want to row - we want to keep the sail up
and we want to say to God - "Please Blow"
and if the wind goes another way - then our boat'l go a different way
if the wind doesn't blow - then our boat won't go
if the wind blows a 100 mph - we'll hold on for dear life - and just trust me survive this movement of God...
but we don't want to row...and we don't want to get locked into "oh this is what Passion is"
and so we're gonna keep doing this every day till Jesus comes...
the only promise I think Jesus made for me is that he's going to build is church - and Hell's not gonna to stop him...
He didn't say that every local church had to exist until he comes back...
He didn't say every organization has to exist until he comes back...
The church is going to exist until he comes back...but...you know....you've got people in "shady grove baptist church" and they've been going 33^ north for 79 years...but the wind hasn't blown in forever, and so you have to ask the question "Is it time for Shady grove to not be?" or "Can they turn around and catch the wind going different direction?"
...and I just don't want Passion ever to fall into that place and so for us it's always a question - and that's the simplest part of it....Lord, what do you want to do?

missions @ HBC

let's adopt a group/country/town or island and make a diference - to focus our mission involvement - a place to start

compassionate worship @ HBC

i'd like to develop this idea of compassionate worship @ HBC...expanding the idea of what worship's all about - showing compassion is a great form of worship and showing glory to him - doing something tangible can even be a higher form of worship....

in today's pop-music church - music has been asked to carry more than it can bear....let's see the church grab onto a bit more than just music and art....let's live like we sing - and make this planet totally different... - David Crowder said something similar to this on a recent Passion pod cast

top concert moments

i want to document some of my top concert moments...here are some that are coming right to my mind...i need to put some more time into this and develop some of the outcomes/impacts relating to worship

shane & shane - embracing accusations (fall 2007 @ UD)
david crowder - somewhere in NJ - in the fall of 2005? a day or two after Kyle Lake's death
david crowder - nyc nokia theatre (the line out front was hysterical)
over the rhine @ eastern college
the prayer chain in st. david's PA the day after creation
the choir in philly
the violet burning
bill mallonee @ the tin angel

the real sensation

"i'd rather suffer my whole life than be this rich man's wife if loving you means suffering - don't give me medication - i want the real sensation - even when living feels just like death to me" - derek webb

in church.....i want to think through how i can bring things to God in worship, rather than getting something out of it....

know who you're not

"the success in being a little leader - and I think in being a leader period - is to know who you're not" - Louie Giglio

This is a good for me, because I definitely know who I'm not...I'm still trying to figure out who I am...

money & sacrifice

Notes from "Mind Your Own Business" - Part 1 - Craig Groeschel

Define your vision - What is God calling you to be about? - What's your mission? You want to be driven by God's vision for you - not money.
Romans 13:8
Consumer debt is taking you out.

You gotta be weird - you can't be normal. Normal is fighting, panic and stress and worry.

Set up a business plan:
Develop cash flow plan - a budget.
1. Lower overhead
2. Plan for down times (save)
3. Develop Investment Strategies (invest)
4. Plan for profit sharing (10% is a starting point)

How are we going to get there? - sacrifice - Intensity
Proverbs 22:7
We will not have our hearts in this world.

the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

who's says that punky kids can't say something profound?...(sorry Matt Thiessen)...there's nothing like deep theology set to some pop/punk jangles...

"the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair"

i gotta get outa here...but maybe i need to stick around for awhile - i'm ok w/5 months from tomorrow (2/8) - but i don't know about beyond that...but sometimes life's not fair - like with my brother david - seeing his wife die before his eyes - she's one step closer even today...

when i led worship a couple of weeks ago we sang Turn Your Eyes as a tag to Charlie Hall's song "Center" - during the prayer afterwards I said something about us being in front of God - in His Glory - and how that day is close for some of us, right around the corner in fact...I hope David can hang onto the beauty of grace today...

the hope to which he has called you

A friend shared this passage with me today....we were discussing where God is leading us...we talked about seeking His face in the midst of this battle we're in...Ephesians 1:17-19

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.

Today's New International Version (TNIV)

© Copyright 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society

the universe

Hebrews 11:2-4

This is what the ancients were commended for.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

Today's New International Version (TNIV)

© Copyright 2001, 2005 by International Bible Society

brickianity

...i was just reading part of Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell - he had a neat way of looking at Christian theology as something that should be experienced rather than defended...he uses two analogies, one of a brick wall and one of a trampoline...he equates following Jesus, or following "the way" to being on a trampoline - he talks about questioning everything and having joy in life....he says how we often think of theology as something that we need to defend and convince people about - rather than embrace some of the mystery that comes with following God...he asserts the historical orthodox Christian faith - but he questions whether we should look at that faith as a brick wall, where some are inside and some are outside the wall...i thought brickianity was a cool word - thanks Rob.

life @ HBC

we need to focus more on sending people out - rather than focusing solely on bringing people in

may we never ever become inward looking - outward condemning - know-it-all holier than though - judgemental - so-called Christians

rather - may we be Christ-like - generous - hearts breaking for those who don't know Jesus

***these notes are from Craig Groeschel - Lifechurch.tv - Vision 2007***

a new way to say yes

God...help me find a new way to say yes to you....today - here and now

a blip from Francis Chan sermon - Living w/urgency Part 2

Culture pacers – you don’t have to be a preacher – what is in your heart that is a God-wired passion, and how can you run after it with everything you’ve got in the name of Jesus?

Sometimes we get too satisfied on earth...

"God does not want you to be satisfied with life on earth"....(Francis Chan - Living w/Urgency Part 2 - around 19 minutes

2 Cor. 5 - we're in earthly tents - but we long to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, the spirit is a guarantee for what's to come

don't close your eyes - feb 8th walk on Market Street

some things i've been thinking about...

where am i really headed - i've hit this wall where my daily life doesn't make sense compared to my spiritual life...i've come to terms (or maybe a loose understanding) of what it means in my head to really follow christ...and now the time has come to get that thought out of my head and into my hands...i know my current state is not the best place to put this calling to work, and into my hands - i've put myself in this 6 month window of waiting - or more accurately God has...

there are just too many thoughts coming into my head right now - i need to get some out - i'm not sure how God will use me, or my story, or my families story - but i'm more willing than i've ever been to be part of his story...

this 6 month window all started february 8th while walking down market street - it was one of the best times i've had communing with God in a long while, really searching the depths of my heart....i was givin a six month window to really chase after things, and not miss any opportunities to serve...

the challenge now is to wait - and not close my eyes...

the real me

so this is the beginning - a starting point...

i'm on this search to find the real me - looking for something to say "wow" about

it's pretty clear what i'm called to do in the general sence, but i'm still searching for that unique call that will fully define the real me...

i'm interested in helping people, learning to love people, supporting those that are searching, and maybe getting excited about what's going on again...

let's get going

chris tomlin = keith green?

so I had this vision of sorts last night, seeing Chris Tomlin play in Lancaster. It was a great night of connecting with the Spirit, and neat to see so many going after God in song - Louie Giglio spoke...so back to my vision, the night started out with a Keith Green cover song of You Are the One - it sounded great, I have to find out who did that cover - [ok I just got this song on itunes, it's by Jason Upton]...so Chris just really went after God as he lead everyone in worship, in his authentic, goofy, sincere, light-hearted, but very real sort of way...so I had this vision of him playing his piano towards the end of the evening - I was in the front row, stage left so I could see the reflection of his face on his piano - so my vision was that Chris is Keith to us...His songs have really gone beyond him and he's still this humble guy...and he's really speaking the truth of God...I had this vision that Chris might be taken away early...

why we sing - mars hill church - rob bell

Mars Hill Church – Rob Bell – January 2007

“Why We Sing”

Passage: Psalm 71:23 – My Lips will shout for Joy when I sing praise to you – I who you have redeemed

Sometimes we sing because we feel like it…we have a song in us…and we can’t wait to sing

But sometimes we don’t feel like it – instead we need to say "I’m going to discipline myself" – I’m going to find something good to sing about…

Sometimes if we don’t sing, we’re going to sink further and further into despair…

One of the reasons we sing is to remind ourselves that it’s not about us – and we get to be part of it (God's story)…

night sledding

it was great to go sledding with eli and eden after coming home from work - they were so funny. Eden's face got REALLY cold - she started to cry but still wanted to stay out in the snow - they were so bundled up they could barely walk....kids are cute in the snow...Eli made a snow angel but didn't think it looked really good when he got up...

interview w/elias - 4 1/2 years

Sunday afternoon while the girls are sleeping, Eli and I had a little interview....

Why do you like to sing to God?
Because God loves me. And I think he likes it.

What's your favorite thing to do?
Go to boomers?

Why do you pray?
Because God likes me to.

What do you like to pray about?
Thank you for our food.

Tell me about Jesus...
I don't really know about Jesus.

What do you know about him?
Nothing.

You Know something!
because he loves you.

How do you know he loves you?
Because he loves everybody.

Why?
Because uh he uh uh he just he just um because he is big, and he loves everybody.

What's your favorite Bible story?
When Jesus went on a boat, and he just fell asleep.

Then what happened?
I don't really know anything else about it.

Why do you think we go to church?
Because we have to learn stuff.

Like what?
from Jesus.

Like what?
we um, I don't really know anything about it.

Tell me about Jesus life.
That he loves us, he died

Then what.
He saved out of the dead.

What does that mean?
He didn't, he came out of the dead. That's the only thing I know about it, I don't know anything else.

How are God and Jesus different or the same?
that those are different names. but they're not different...they're not different!

what do you want to be when you grow up?
a mail carrier

a mail carrier?
yeah - I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up yet.

What other ideas do you have?

Eli's questions for himself...
What favorite friend do you have a school?
uh, um um Ariana (she's a girl)

what should we name the new baby?
I knew you were going to say that...um...Jaden

Why?
because I like that name. Are you just going to show mommy this?

What's your favorite TV show?
Pinkey Dinkey Do

What's your favorite thing to do with daddy?
Um...wrestle.

What's your favorite thing to do with mommy?
Go to restaurants with her.

What about Eden?
I like to play with her. Like ping pong, Do you have anymore questions for me?

Sure, hmm....

I want you to write just "I Love You Mommy"....

Do you have anything else you want me to write?
nope, actually yea maybe - I wanna to write what is my favorite toy?

Ok, what's your favorite toy?
My favorite toy is my blocks that are out right now that are on top of the cardboard box.

Why are they your favorite?
Because you can build with them, and I like building.

Maybe you can be a builder when you grow up?
Uh, I don't really want to, because what if I like get hurt, or accidentally bang myself with a hammer or something. Are you still writing the stuff I said? Why, you have to be done now.

Ok.

I think I need to tell you a couple of more things....

What do you need to tell me?

Um....can you tell me some more questions?

Sure, what's your favorite worship song?
Um, ABCDEFG.

Really? what else.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...I know that's a night night song but I still like it.

What's your favorite song we sing @ church?
I don't know the names...maybe I can tell you one....um uh actually I don't really know anything about that...but I have something to tell you - I know what I can say to mommy...make sure we pray at the party

What party?

At the party at school that I'm going to, the one I bought the pretzels for.

Should daddy buy a new guitar?
Maybe, but you have way to many guitars.

You think so?
yeah.

Really?
yeah. I think you got 4 or 5

I have an idea, oh man! - we forgot to buy science books @ Costco - oh man!

Tell mommy that I like to take my sox off.

Ok, talk to you later buddy.

What? why did you say that?

Because our interview is over.

Why did you say that? Daddy - I want to watch a kids movie - like Mary Popins or something...

Ok.

beautiful wife

so last night it came to my attention that i haven't been connecting emotionally with my wife enough...i sort of got caught in the everyday and forgot how beautiful she is, and that she is amazing...

i had breakfast with a good friend this morning, we talked about where God is leading us, and where he's leading his people...i was reminded that God has put me in a place to care for people, especially my wife and kids...

then this awesome thing happened...we had talked over coffee too long as usual and i was headed to work after the rush...then i looked behind me and there was my wife - she really is beautiful, it was great to see here, but weird to see her almost in the context of a stranger - not being able to talk, but just look at each other and make some motions that didn't make any sense...but God reminded me that my wife is beautiful...

after she turned left, off Lincoln, off my path to work...i was listening to this song (track #4 on Leeland's album Sound of Melodies)...i've been listening to this cd non-stop for about a week, it's great but it's a little over produced - so i missed this song the first 10 or so times i listened to it...it made me wonder why we miss things the first time around, or the second or even the 10th....but this song (called Tears of the Saints)...just caught me off guard - how there are so many prodigal sons out there that need leading back home - it got me thinking of who i need to lead back home - to Christ....

then i met this awesome guy on the elevator - i never have anything good to talk about on the elevator - but today i did - because the pipes on my kitchen faucet froze...so i asked him if he had any good ideas on how to fix frozen pipes...joe had some great ideas - he said to get an electrical wrap at the hardware store....i'm really glad i had something significant to talk about on the elevator - like frozen pipes, the weather is way over rated...

sinners - on Christ we stand, reach out your hand (Leeland lyrics)

my wife is beautiful

excited for tomorrow

so what am i really chasing after, i say all my hope is in jesus christ...but what does that really mean?...how is that going to play out tonight?

jesus christ, take my life, take all of me - i really want to put all of my hope in you - my future is you - my ambition is you - i know you won't let me down - take my life, take all of me - you're all i rely on - you cover my sin

i'm excited about tomorrow

trust me - but you choose

The following thoughts are from Jarrett Stevens on his decision to leave Chicago and go full-time to 7[]22 in Atlanta...I'm thinking through a similar threshold in my life, and learning to trust more on God, while I'm really really trying to make a choice to follow....

Fear, if you are leading me there, that mean's we are leaving here...fear

Am I consumed w/fear or consumed w/God?

pray/fast/seek God and see if he is leading us there...God is affirming, saying – “trust me - but you choose”...so we had to make a choice, I remember breaking down and bawling on the plane - because I didn't want to choose - I didn't want to trust God...I had a very real image of God holding my faith to fire - if so choose, choose - do you trust me? - We didn't have all the answers, it was not going to be easier - but God was leading us - I choose to trust and choose to go...It hasn't been easier - do we trust you that you brought us here?, that you are here?, that we trust you?...so much that's good - but just because you say yes to God, doesn't mean it's going to be easier

Don't let fear/anxiety consume you...be consumed by God, not circumstances...

the first shall be last

there seems to be a lot coming at me right now...i'm trying to come to terms with this idea of the american dream - and that the first shall be last, and the last shall be first

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." Matthew 20:16
"Here it is again, the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first." Matthew 20:16 - The Message

This is actually a parable about God's generosity...and of man's jealousy. I'm trying to explain to my 4yr old son that he doesn't have to be the first one in the door, every time we come home. So I've been explaining this concept that the first shall be last, and the last first - but I had to pause, to consider the true meaning.

And it certainly relates to my current struggle...balancing wealth and faith. It's really clear that I have too much "stuff", and I spend too much time surfing the net for more stuff. It really is a bit consuming, and really hints at where I'm finding my satisfaction...

...although I'm becoming more satisfied with not really knowing what God has in store for me, but just accepting the fact that he's good and has a unique plan for me. I'm ready to take a step of faith but that step is still really unclear to me. I don't want to limit what God is calling me to do....I do know that God has gifted me for more than engineering...I have this passion for more right now - but God is calling me to be patient, to really listen to him, and I've been reminded not to miss chances to serve him in a new way...

kids

eli wants to name the baby "Jaden"

eden wants to name him "squirmy wormy"

amish forgiveness

as I have been preparing myself to lead worship this week – the Amish massacre has been heavy on my heart – in fact – really hard to think about in light of singing to God

Thoughts that come to mind:

Anger, disbelief, satan, evil, confusion

Thoughts that don’t come to mind:

Forgiveness? That’s something that the families and Amish community have been dealing with. But sometimes hard experiences, difficult times and difficult thoughts, result in worship…

Amish grandfather: 'We must not think evil of this man...

POSTED: 2:30 a.m. EDT, October 5, 2006

PARADISE, Pennsylvania (CNN) -- A grieving grandfather told young relatives not to hate the gunman who killed five girls in an Amish schoolhouse massacre, a pastor said on Wednesday.

"As we were standing next to the body of this 13-year-old girl, the grandfather was tutoring the young boys, he was making a point, just saying to the family, 'We must not think evil of this man,' " the Rev. Robert Schenck told CNN.

"It was one of the most touching things I have seen in 25 years of Christian ministry."

Later…in article

Jack Meyer, a member of the Brethren community living near the Amish in Lancaster County, said local people were trying to follow Jesus' teachings in dealing with the "terrible hurt."

"I don't think there's anybody here that wants to do anything but forgive and not only reach out to those who have suffered a loss in that way but to reach out to the family of the man who committed these acts," he told CNN.

Sam Stoltzfus, 63, an Amish woodworker who lives a few miles away from the shooting scene, told The Associated Press that the victims' families will be sustained by their faith.

"We think it was God's plan, and we're going to have to pick up the pieces and keep going," he told AP. "A funeral to us is a much more important thing than the day of birth because we believe in the hereafter. The children are better off than their survivors."

My’s thoughts:

Not to get into Amish theology, but it is amazing how the tragedy has highlighted their faith – and specifically their quickness to forgive. It’s not every week that CNN has headlines revolving around faith and forgiveness. It reminds me that the evil in this world is right around the corner, but it also reminds me of God’s amazing mixture of justice and forgiveness – that combine to serve up grace.

I would not be so quick to forgive, if something happened to one of my children…

One of the things that amazes me about God’s forgiveness, is thinking about how difficult it is for me to forgive someone that has wronged me – I’m quick to serve justice – especially in my mind.

The scripture this morning certainly relates to God’s Justice (the ten commandments), but of course Paul reminds us that the Law has been fulfilled through Christ, ultimately God’s perfect laws and justice combined with our sinfulness – lead to God’s grace and forgiveness – encompassed in Jesus on the cross.